While my patience is tested...

What happens when you tell someone what you want done and not why you want it done??
You get exactly what you asked for, which is often not quite what you wanted.

Classic example:
Often in India, in big stores, there are several people buying clothes, and several who want to try a piece, before they pay for it and buy it. Fair enough... Some of us are indecisive... annoying, but acceptable. Some people(I have just noticed women, may be men too), want to try all the clothes available in the store, before they decide which pair of socks they like. And more often than not they have someone waiting outside the trial room, they would model for in all the clothes. Others behind in the queue, may die of old age waiting, before one is done trying all the combinations of this jeans, with that T-shirt, and that shirt and that jacket over it...

Hence, the stores made a rule "No body is allowed to take more than 3 garments into the trial room". Good job. They also posted guards in front of all trial rooms, checking that nobody took more than 3 pieces with them. Impressive.

What they did not do was tell these guards the purpose of the whole exercise.

Now the scene is Customer A goes to the trial room, with exactly three pieces. Guard happily allows this. She tries the first one, and comes of to display to her boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/cousin/sister/mom/aunt/neighbor/.... and they decide it doesn't look nice, so she changes to the next piece, hands over the first piece to her accomplice to put back and get another one. She merrily tries all garments available in the store, flipping back the discarded ones with untried ones... having exactly three pieces at any point.

Stated criteria met: Yes
Objective met: No.

And some say information must be shared only when needed...

TOW Marriage and After effects

When you have had an independent, carefree, happy life all your years and then you settle down, your life will be in phases...

There would be days when you would do anything to get your old life back...
And those when you wonder how you survived before...

Those when you feel like you are trapped in between
And those when you feel being on seventh heaven...


Time spent wondering what life could have been..
And that thanking what life has become..

Some days you don't want to care a bit...
And some when you can't stop fussing over.

Phases when you feel unloved and alone..
And those when you can't hold more love...

Sometimes you are high, sometimes you are low.
Somedays you want to soar high all alone
And others when you want to be held cocooned.

Guess its all about going on...
trusting your belief... and walking on.

TOW Movie review

There is this movie that I recently watched "Mere Brother ki dulhan". Some will call it senseless and childish... I would rather call it entertaining. Some pointers I liked about this one:



1. This is one movie which shows arranged marriages the way they are now. Middle class Indian society is moe open to love marriages than ever. Parents would be happy if their children found their own spouses ... as long as they fit few criteria ;). New generation Indians are open to both methods of settling down. They will be assertive if they have found the one they like. They know even if they agree to an arranged one, the decision is going to be theirs. Parents can help you meet your Mr./Miss Right, whether you find them right or not is your decision.

2. It shows that its okay for a girl to be partying hard, drinking, being out-going, frank and assertive... yet being a nice-girl. It is not a conventional Indian attitude. Yet is getting more accepted now. The dilemma that heroine has on whether she should change, and hero's answer... Your madness is your USP... loved it.

3. It shows a hero who is genuinly nice and honest... much needed these days ;)

4. Ladke to Pappu hote hai... Pappu ko Lollipop dikhao... Pappu khud tumhare peeche aayega... :D

5. Ali Zafar. He looks refreshingly sweet and innocent. The role suits him brilliantly and he is so convincing.

6. I kind of like this Indo-Pak fusion of cinema. Instead of just sending terrorists, its a nice gesture from Pakistan to send actors too. It reaffirms that people are same on both sides of border..rest all is politics.

TOW Men and Women

What happens when you apply force on a soft wood... it bends... and when you put some more force... it bends some more ...and more.... untill it breaks...

Women have always been considered as the softer one...you apply force and she bends... and you apply a bit more force.... knowing you can bend her more.


From the stern commnads in past to gentler suggestions now... tone may change and format may change... intent doesn't.... she is supposed to bear and endure in silence.

You expect her to take care of the family, nurture and care for her children, while you enjoy your life. Men ain't supposed to balance kids and work. Maintaining the house is what a woman marries, not her man. Children are primarily her responsibility, even though she might be juggling a career as well. And in cases, when she is not financially independent, she is at your mercy. She will take care of the house, children, be a full time housekeeper and nanny..yet she "doesn't do anything".

In some cases, men assume that they also get the right to abuse her physically and mentally... insult her in front of her children... undermine her worth and self respect in every way.... make her pity herself every day... feel proud that he is the master of the house...the bread winner... the Man.

She is stabbed every day...by words...by actions... by arrogance. She evaluates her situation every day... wonders what her fault is... thinks what she can do to annoy you less.... untill one day... she breaks...... and then you label her "weak".

TOW Questions

• What is sadder ... a deserving man not getting his share or a non-deserving one getting more than what he should...
• What hurts more... knowing u can't help or knowing u can but are too scared to do so...
• What is more annoying... when your current is not like your ex... or when he is exactly like your ex...
• What would you do... when you can either quit or loose...

TOW Abortion

    I read this short story on FaceBook recently:
    
     "A woman clutching a one year old baby goes to a doctor. Says, I am pregnant again and I don't think I can handle two young babies at the same time. So, I have come for an abortion. Doctor tried to convince her otherwise. When she didn't budge, he looks at her and says, abortion will have side effects on your body, I have a healthier option. Why don't you keep the child inside you and lets kill the child in your arm. The lady was horrified and shocked at the thought of parting with her child. At which the doctor knowing that he has made his point, tells her that a child in a uterus is still a child"
 
   I have deliberately removed all emotions from the story and mentioned only the boring facts in the story.     
    
    I hated the story. MM (Stands for My Man, or Husband, yeah... I am inspired by some other bloggers ) read it and found it good.
    
    Like many other topics we have decided not to discuss it further and cross the bridge if (hopefully never) and when it comes.
    
    I am of the opnion that one should never have kids unless they are fully prepared, willing and wanting to have them. Its a crime to bring an unwanted child in the world. With so many children being abandoned by their parents in India and so many others not getting proper care, love and even food, I am not sure how one can advocate any other view.
    
    Its not easy living on this over crowded planet, you need an initial support. If you are forcing someone to come here, then you ought to take the responsibility and help them survive and live in a dignified manner.
    
    We can blame most of the juvenile crimes to lack of love and guidance. When parents don't understand their responsibilty, how can we expect children to be responsible? When one doesn't have the time or will to teach the kids right values, how can we expect that kids will grow up to become right thinking, responsible individuals?
      

I was called heartless on this note... But, I guess I would prefer being heartless compared to being irresponsible.

TOW Mystery

I have always been an advocate of fighting for what you think is right.... not giving up... staying there till the end... see it through...

But, I wonder is it always worth it. Its nice to win, when you know that it is right.... but at what cost.? Is the trouble and cost of fight worth the gain in the end? Often I see people quitting jobs rather early... a year and half in one company and we are ready to move out. Number of reasons from not enough work to too much of work, not enough salary... better prospects and bad manager. I felt that if things are amiss you ought to fix it instead of finding the nearest exit route.

Now, I have begun thinking how much is it worth.... you argue, fight...take it to the next level... take it further up... spend some weeks or may be months irritated at the whole thing, hoping someone will wake from slumber and give you a logical and acceptable answer. You direct your anger to your relations, who give a sympathetic ear, you start feeling guilty and further pissed of. End of it all, you may get what you wanted or you get bored of the tussle and decide to quit. I have seen quite a lot of talented, smart people in the industry dissatisfied with their companies. In fact, I am yet to find someone who is happy with everything after 4-5 years in the same company.

How Indian IT industry survives and does well with such huge attrition of people would remain a mystery for me.... an illogical one. You hire people, train them for a month or two before they become of any use... and then you lose them in next 12-13 months, taking the knowledge with them. Probably because we never intend to build on knowledge, we just want a bare minimum functional and domain knowledge and get all the maintenance work to do. We never want to do anything smarter than that. Probably, we don't want to accept that our people are important for growth. That we need the bottom of pyramid to be stable too. Probably we believe that we would always find someone who is smart enough to do all the work and dumb enough not to want anything back and we know we can suck the blood out of them. Probably, we just intend to see the short term goals acheived, long term is not really our forte...