Friday, March 2, 2012

Too perfect

There are lots of things I worry or dread . One thing that I am absolutely scared of in a relationship is complete surrender.

There are several ways a relation can be wrong. Ones that everyone accepts as difficult to deal, like, cheating partner, being over possessive, being overworked with no time for one another. And the ones only the wearer of shoe knows, like, nagging, being irresponsible at home, being bore, demeaning things that matter to other... and likes. Things that no one will understand and you would feel silly explaining your woes...

But, what I worry is when one surrenders completely to the relationship. When you agree with whatever your partner says. It might be out of love, out of absolute trust or fear of rejection. You might be too bewitched to realize what you are becoming. You might want the relation to work at any cost, and you give up on everything yours. The reasons might vary, but the end result is same, you have given up your brain to the relation. Your power to think, argue and decide on your own have been surrendered to the likes of your mate. You do what you think he/she likes, you wonder whether he/she would accept or like this. You stop thinking what you like and start thinking what he likes. 
It might work well if one keeps passively following all his life and other stays committed and dedicated to the meek follower. But, if the former wakes up one day to see for himself or if the other gets bored of the unintelligent company, that is the end of this fragile relation.

This is the kind of relationship I fear the most. I consider a relationship healthy if there are some difference of opinions, some arguments and space. 
When all decisions are unanimous, often only one person is making them.
A relationship devoid of any raised voices or silence treatments is the one too perfect to be true...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Need for guide??

Are my expectations to high
Or my words not clear?
Is it too difficult to give
What I wish dear?
I wish I could put more words
I could explain better
But then I craved you would
feel the need to know me

I know I could write once and for all
My wishes, needs and desires
A handy guide to refer
and know the right action

I know I could make your life easier
We can live happily without knowing each other
But thats what I dread about
Won't help you there, not now, not ever.

Moods, dreams, wishes, insanities,
make me who I am.
I wish you try to know the real me
One argument, tiff or finding a time

Take the pain, go the hard way,
Don't look at me for a cheat sheet on emotions
Coz, If you can't hear my silence
I wonder if my words would matter...