To the boy I love

Dear Son,

There are so many things I wish to tell you, wish you remember when you grow up. Let me start with what you are admired for and what you need to change.

Now about 21 months old, you can walk, run, dance and pretty much do everything as far as mobility is concerned. You are pretty good at understanding stuff too. You see the daily activities and understand how stuff is done, from cleaning, washing clothes to cooking food.

You just love cooking food and being allowed to cook brings an instant smile to your face. You want to sit at the counter close to gas and just do what you see being done, from taking a pan and mixing stuff, stirring it and also making chapattis. You use all your tactics to be allowed that. Saying the words... "Upaaaa" or Upar to place you up there, and then saying "Khana" or food just in case we didn't understand the command, you say it all. Then when you are still not allowed, you start throwing mild tantrums, from bending over backwards to crying, lying on the floor showing anger and also hitting people, scratching them, pulling their hair when your demands are not met. You are quite a performer, I must say. But, when you figure out it won't be done...you won't be allowed anymore to cook on gas, you make peace with that. It doesn't take long for you to stop sulking and start enjoying life again. It may be a cartoon to watch, going "bahar" or "ummi" (for ghoomi or ghoomna) or playing with plastic balls. 

But, you don't stop trying to go back to the gas at the next earliest opportunity. You keep on trying every now and then that you would again be placed at that magical place called stove. And we do that, for that magical smile that you give us at that win!!

Lesson 6: You need to make peace with things. At some point you need to let go. It's only so long that you should ruin your day over what couldn't be yours.

Lesson 7: Tomorrow is another day to start afresh what you missed today. In your case, it is several times a day that you try your goal. Never getting disappointed, never disheartened and not reducing your efforts either.

Love,

Maa (It still feels strange when I say it)

Life Lessons from an infant

My boy is now 7 months old. And he knows what he likes, who he likes... and there are several in the list. Everytime he sees me or the husband he smiles... everytime single time. Sometimes I feel bad when I have to leave him to do some work. And then when I walk back to him, I am welcomed by that lovely smile. I think, I leave him a lot, just to know someone becomes so happy on just seeing me... and he does that with his father, his nanny, other maids... all familiar faces. I wonder when did we forget to smile for people? How come we welcome our loved ones with, "You are late, yet again" or "Did you bring the grocery I told" and not with a smile?

Lesson 1: I like you. I smile for you... then I frown if you forget to bring the grocery. But first, I smile

I get so bored... even when i have so much to do. If my internet is down for a day and I don't have a good book to read, I will commit suicide. There is no 'may' there. I will do that. What can you do, if you are on bed the whole day through. You can't sit, you can't stand. You wait for someone to come and pick you up, even for a change in scenery. If you want to reach out to something.... that shiny little ribbon or that box over there... or the flower on the bedsheet... and you can't. You do whatever you can. You lift your head if you can. You kick your feet in the air, you turn... but you do whatever you can to stay engaged. 

Lesson 2: Find something to stay busy, If you can't... create something to keep you busy. Don't die just yet

This boy finds everything fascinating. The way a newspaper flutters when the fan is on, the bright yellow colored flower on my dress, the way adults drink tea from a bright green mug, how someone mops the floor.... everything is fascinating... worth noticing, worth watching, worth being curious about. When did we stop getting fascinating by stuff and treat everything mundane.... No rainbows, no butterflies, no flowers entice us long enough. I am reminded of Sonu Nigam dressed as a beggar . How many of us would have stopped and noticed the beauty. Do we ever smell the flowers in our mad daily rush.

Lesson 3: Stop waiting for big things to interest you. Curiosity and fascination are good for all. There is more to life than that paycheck or that annual vacation

The guy is also turning into a drama. He knows what he wants and nearly how to get that. I hope, wish and pray with all my might that I am not raising a Kejriwal. I work from home now. And the guy knows which room I work in. So, all of seven months old- he wills to be taken to that room. And when the nanny picks him after his nap (45 minutes putting to sleep and 15 minutes nap), she takes him to the hall to play with him. As soon as he crosses my work-area, he would start cooing, asking her to take him to me. Its mandatory that they would stop at my room. He will see me- give me that lovely smile- I will melt and take him- no matter what I am doing - cuddle him for a while- both of us not wanting to let go and then I will get a ping on chat or a reminder for a meeting- bringing me back into reality.

Lesson 4: You want something. You make it known. If a subtle coo works- wonderful- If not throw some high pitched cry. But don't sulk in a corner if you don't get the promotion you didn't say you wanted.

When I don't trust someone, I don't trust them in any scenario. Untrustworthy gets etched in my memory. There is a cross reference between that person and the tag -the-one-shouldn't-be-trusted.

When the boy's nanny changed, he wasn't comfortable with the new nanny putting him to sleep. He still doesn't like it, but he now gives in when he is extremely sleepy. But back then, he won't sleep with her... He would fight sleep... cry a lot when he couldn't fight the sleep any longer and needed to be put to sleep- wait for me to step in, take him in my arms and he would sleep in two minutes. But even then he would smile at her, play with her, go in her arms, do everything but sleep. He had trust-issues (?). But that was situation based, not person based. 

Lesson 5: Don't hate or distrust in absolutes. If you don't like an aspect of someone, there is no need to hate them completely. 

I am sure there are tons of other things this 7 months old baby is going to teach me. I know if I learn too well, I will become a better person. Here's to that hope....

An infant with a smile...

Soon you'll have a character of your own
Soon you'll be a toddler with tantrums
A child with wishful eyes
A teen with some demands
And then you'll be gone...
An adult with a life

For now you are just my baby
A simple innocent trusting being
One who laughs when he farts
And cries when he pees
Smiles at all that he sees
Happy and kicking just to be alive
One who has so much joy to give

I so wish I could keep a part of this
Treasure every moment and keep it still
Hold on to all your gestures and all your moods
Savour the toothless smile and wordless talks

I want you to grow up, But not so fast
Let me learn from you how to live