Sunday, May 5, 2019

B is for Bias

I have been raised a feminist. I have fought with my younger brother all my childhood and our parents raised us as equals. While, I don't claim of any other great quality, being impartial, unbiased is what I do claim. If a boy and a girl do the exact same thing, my reaction in all likelihood is going to be the same too.

I have come across some chauvinists in my office life, those who couldn't stand a woman being skilled and appreciated. It disgusted me, no doubt, but it came rather early in my career and I was fortunate to have a leadership that saw through this and gave me the desired support and showed the right way. 
After a long time, I met with a strange situation again. My voice just didn't reach certain men until it was mansplained. The fact that as a Product Owner, my views on the product need to be respected, doesn't cut across. I have come a long way to take it silently. I have made it explicitly clear more than once on what needs to be done and how. 

But, I wonder how deep the patriarchy runs through us. What makes it immensely uncomfortable for certain men to listen to women if they are peers. When it comes with authority from a senior woman, we would bitch during coffee breaks and  question her decisions and what made her what she is. When it comes from a peer, we would resist, gang up and make it difficult and younger ones, we would mollycoddle. 

In my personal life, not having given up my surname, my career or my identity on the marriage altar, I thought I am living by my rules. But, I don't know if there is ever a marriage of equality. Does a marriage exist where you listen to your spouse and take their advice, without losing yourself completely. May be you can defend your big principles and live by them, but can true harmony in the house and inner peace with oneself coexist?


KParthasarathi said...

Nice article.Despite the long struggle,there has been no significant change about the empowerment of women,politically,economically and socially. Comprising more than half the population,they have not yet succeeded even 33% reservation in legislatures. Despite girls performing much better than boys up to class XII,their number dwindles to a small percentage in institutions of higher learning. There is disparity even in wages. It is a long subject.

earthwire said...

Yeah. A sad truth. On one hand, we have several who take advantage of the rules meant to empower women and in other there are those who still struggle for basic dignity.

KParthasarathi said...

Please make provision for subscription to your blog to enable me get updates by mail whenever you post a new piece.Also provide for following your blog. Thanks

earthwire said...

Thanks a lot for the suggestion! Never realized it. I have added that now.