The Lost battle

Lord... Give me patience and tolerance.
To be able to deal with the incompetent, and careless and egoists and ...

I believe I have become a fanatic in recent times. For perfection, for order. Had it been for any other more common disorders, like religion I might have become a deity or dead, depending on the prevalent political situation. I have no sympathy or empathy left for disorder or incompetence. 
I often wondered, why is it that we Indians are so short-tempered. Road rage, fights, murders at the stupidest provocation seems to be so common now. Like getting killed discussing which is the best car.
Now, I seem to be losing the battle too. With job getting hectic, too many things to handle, too many people not giving the desired , expected and agreed outcome, I have lost my sanity. I feel like a lunatic by the time my day comes to an end, come anywhere near and I can't predict my reaction. Basic manners are the first ones to fly of the window, closely followed by rational. The sad thing is I can see what is happening, what needs to change and I am too tired to react.
But, the good thing is I have figured out the mystery behind our temper. Nothing or at least nothing seems to give the desired outcome... Traffic does not move at the speed it should, carpenter/ plumber/maid/... do not work according to the promises, Government does not govern, boss gives unrealistic deadlines, wife does not listen, colleagues do not work the right way... and the frustration keeps piling up, until we can hold no more and burst at the slightest possibility.
Guess, I should change my name from earthwire to short-fuse now. :-(

India Connection

I think, there are a lot of things come with growing in India. India makes you:

Paranoid: You wonder why the guy is looking at you. What that strange noise outside is. You don't like going out alone in the night. You are wary if every sound and light...

Thankful: You know that countless things fell at just the right place for you to be able to read, write, understand, work.... live. You realize that life is not perfect, but its worth being thankful of.
 
Cynic: You find it hard to believe someone would help you for no reason. That the other car just gave you way. That the boss just smiled for no reason. There has to be something behind this... or so you think.

Hopeful: Every day brings in new hope. There were Bomb blasts in Mumbai and the city was up on its feet and working the next day. Its hard for an Indian to say 'Hopeless'... there has to be some way out, that is what we live by.

Curious: Two people arguing in the corner and a crowd would gather, asking what happened. Whats the story, who did what... I am yet to find any other race so interested in everyone else's lives. If there is an Olympic ever for being Gossip Monger, we should be watched out for. 

Believer: We believe... in God, in Humans, in things falling in place, in goodness... in Miracles.

Forgive and Forget?

There is a show 'V-Steal your GirlFriend'... Its a reality show with a story as:

Boy loves Girl. Girl Loves Boy. Boy cheats on girl or loses her somehow.

She is now with someone else. Boy misses girl and wants her back.

Channel helps him come with innovative ways to apologize and claim his love.

I just watched one episode of it and began to wonder. 

Can you forgive someone who cheats on you?

Is it easy or well possible to let it go and start afresh?

Would it be possible to forget all the dark pages of your story and just remember the lovely ones? Can you ignore the betrayal, the heartbreak and the pain?

Is it humanly possible? May be sometimes one would accept to give it a try, but does the relation stay the same?
Would you be able to trust as much as you could or would you be suspicious every time he has a long day at work?

Right now, I think it is not in my dictionary, but, Is breach of trust a pardonable offense? 

While my patience is tested...

What happens when you tell someone what you want done and not why you want it done??
You get exactly what you asked for, which is often not quite what you wanted.

Classic example:
Often in India, in big stores, there are several people buying clothes, and several who want to try a piece, before they pay for it and buy it. Fair enough... Some of us are indecisive... annoying, but acceptable. Some people(I have just noticed women, may be men too), want to try all the clothes available in the store, before they decide which pair of socks they like. And more often than not they have someone waiting outside the trial room, they would model for in all the clothes. Others behind in the queue, may die of old age waiting, before one is done trying all the combinations of this jeans, with that T-shirt, and that shirt and that jacket over it...

Hence, the stores made a rule "No body is allowed to take more than 3 garments into the trial room". Good job. They also posted guards in front of all trial rooms, checking that nobody took more than 3 pieces with them. Impressive.

What they did not do was tell these guards the purpose of the whole exercise.

Now the scene is Customer A goes to the trial room, with exactly three pieces. Guard happily allows this. She tries the first one, and comes of to display to her boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/cousin/sister/mom/aunt/neighbor/.... and they decide it doesn't look nice, so she changes to the next piece, hands over the first piece to her accomplice to put back and get another one. She merrily tries all garments available in the store, flipping back the discarded ones with untried ones... having exactly three pieces at any point.

Stated criteria met: Yes
Objective met: No.

And some say information must be shared only when needed...

TOW Marriage and After effects

When you have had an independent, carefree, happy life all your years and then you settle down, your life will be in phases...

There would be days when you would do anything to get your old life back...
And those when you wonder how you survived before...

Those when you feel like you are trapped in between
And those when you feel being on seventh heaven...


Time spent wondering what life could have been..
And that thanking what life has become..

Some days you don't want to care a bit...
And some when you can't stop fussing over.

Phases when you feel unloved and alone..
And those when you can't hold more love...

Sometimes you are high, sometimes you are low.
Somedays you want to soar high all alone
And others when you want to be held cocooned.

Guess its all about going on...
trusting your belief... and walking on.

TOW Movie review

There is this movie that I recently watched "Mere Brother ki dulhan". Some will call it senseless and childish... I would rather call it entertaining. Some pointers I liked about this one:



1. This is one movie which shows arranged marriages the way they are now. Middle class Indian society is moe open to love marriages than ever. Parents would be happy if their children found their own spouses ... as long as they fit few criteria ;). New generation Indians are open to both methods of settling down. They will be assertive if they have found the one they like. They know even if they agree to an arranged one, the decision is going to be theirs. Parents can help you meet your Mr./Miss Right, whether you find them right or not is your decision.

2. It shows that its okay for a girl to be partying hard, drinking, being out-going, frank and assertive... yet being a nice-girl. It is not a conventional Indian attitude. Yet is getting more accepted now. The dilemma that heroine has on whether she should change, and hero's answer... Your madness is your USP... loved it.

3. It shows a hero who is genuinly nice and honest... much needed these days ;)

4. Ladke to Pappu hote hai... Pappu ko Lollipop dikhao... Pappu khud tumhare peeche aayega... :D

5. Ali Zafar. He looks refreshingly sweet and innocent. The role suits him brilliantly and he is so convincing.

6. I kind of like this Indo-Pak fusion of cinema. Instead of just sending terrorists, its a nice gesture from Pakistan to send actors too. It reaffirms that people are same on both sides of border..rest all is politics.

TOW Men and Women

What happens when you apply force on a soft wood... it bends... and when you put some more force... it bends some more ...and more.... untill it breaks...

Women have always been considered as the softer one...you apply force and she bends... and you apply a bit more force.... knowing you can bend her more.


From the stern commnads in past to gentler suggestions now... tone may change and format may change... intent doesn't.... she is supposed to bear and endure in silence.

You expect her to take care of the family, nurture and care for her children, while you enjoy your life. Men ain't supposed to balance kids and work. Maintaining the house is what a woman marries, not her man. Children are primarily her responsibility, even though she might be juggling a career as well. And in cases, when she is not financially independent, she is at your mercy. She will take care of the house, children, be a full time housekeeper and nanny..yet she "doesn't do anything".

In some cases, men assume that they also get the right to abuse her physically and mentally... insult her in front of her children... undermine her worth and self respect in every way.... make her pity herself every day... feel proud that he is the master of the house...the bread winner... the Man.

She is stabbed every day...by words...by actions... by arrogance. She evaluates her situation every day... wonders what her fault is... thinks what she can do to annoy you less.... untill one day... she breaks...... and then you label her "weak".