Just pathetic

I watched this episode of Crime Patrol 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvQhGWEjQJk

For those who are unaware of this serial, its based on real life incidents. Often it brings on unknown faces of Indian society, sometimes highlighting the despair, sometimes callousness, sometimes selfishness and sometimes humanity. It has shocked me more than once....

This one tells about a small village in Maharashtra, where small farmers took loan from landlords. Since, most of the farmers were illiterate, landlord would put wrong calculations in the name of interest, so much so that farmer could never repay it and would be forced to work for free for landlord. Also, his future generations would be forced to work for the landlord for free.... Until once a farmer, took to educate his only child, a girl. The intelligent girl, worked part time and helped his father repay the loan. This annoyed the landlord so much that he got the girl, all of 17 years, kidnapped and raped her and finally made her write a letter that she was a willing partner before dropping her back after a week. The poor soul was in a state of shock and committed suicide. Until then police were reluctant in catching the landlord who was a powerful local politician.  He is in custody now after villagers got to higher authorities, sadly, chances are that he would be out soon, ready to reign with terror again..... 

For  a long time, people there would not educate their kids... would be willing to be slave for ages... would live in fear.... 

Out of the blue

If Masterchef of different countries is ever a clue of how the people are. 

This is how I would understand people are in these countries:

Americans: Bitchy, Boisterous and Arrogant

Indians: Winy and emotional

Australians: Fair, friendly, good winners and losers

Australia has surely risen a few notches in my wish-list. If Australia tourism is a promoter, good job ;)

Wedding Planner

Some of the blogs that I am addicted to, often talk about how arranged marriages screw up ones life. Like:

http://celestialrays.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/logic-vs-lagnam/

and

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/tag/arranged-marriage/

That you get married to a man you don't know, you may end up losing your own life in the process. That when you have not "known" the person and his family long enough, you would not know how he (or they) would react in any situation. Whether you are marrying a monster or your prince charming... and it is more likely to be former.

Some of my friends have also shared bitter experiences of their other girl friends, agreeing to marry a man arranged by their family and regretting the decision with all their lives.

I know that this is not entirely wrong. Indian society is skewed in favor of men.

But, the view it portrays of arranged marriages is not entirely right either. Like every other thing, marriage (arranged or love) has to evolve with time. It needs to adapt to changing needs of society.... And that one needs to accept more for arranged marriages. Parents should just introduce the guy and girl and express their opinion, final decision should lie with those who are committing for life!!!

Girls and boys alike need to tell their parents that they are open to the idea of arranged marriage, but on their conditions. The concept of saying "yes" to the first "guy" you meet doesn't work anymore. The idea of not meeting or chatting or talking before confirming is out dated too. 

If girls are independent and confident, they should know their priorities and be comfortable exerting them. We need to know that being unhappily married (and may be dead) cannot be better than being happily single.

My husband and I had arranged marriages. He wasn't the first guy I met, nor was I the first girl he met. We met several times, before our parents met each other or even us. We knew our basic traits and standings before we committed to each other. And we were fine with that. I have retained my surname, my job priorities and my beliefs and so has he...

I can't say that we haven't had our share of "teething troubles" post marriage or everything has been hunky-dory. But, I can't imagine being with any other man now. ... And I absolutely adore my in-laws.

I certainly don't regret my decision or how life has turned to be. And I believe this is how ideally marriages should be arranged !!!

It feels good !!!

It feels good:

• When a riksha-waala that you take tells you that he owes you five bucks and you should pay less.
• When air-hostesses in a flight take extra care for an invalid old man, explaining all security procedures to him personally and attending to every unsaid need of his.
• When you find a shop-keeper searching for you because you forgot your camera at his shop on a busy day.

I guess I shouldn't give up on the world as yet...

When Gods came visiting

I have seen Gods. They were called upon, and they appeared amidst much fan-fare. There were much preparation for their arrival and a general excitement in air. All work stopped and all that one heard was what more one can do during the week long festival.... Presentations made, agenda prepared,  people sensitized...

They held much power and were easy to please.... Power more than one could imagine and one daren't cross them.

There were some strange things about these Gods, though. They didn't know they were God. They walked among mortals like common man. Mortals had an additional work of rising them to Godly level. They reminded them constantly of their status, their power.... trying hard to raise them to the pedestal humans had created...

They also had a strange name for God, "Client".

The Ideal World

I have heard and read ample number of times that Indian society is a good society... We respect family and elders. We have strong belief in the institution of marriage and we are at a moral high-ground. 
On the other hand, we say western society is very individualistic. There are no joint-families, children leave home at 14-15 and crave independence. 


By theory, we are right... This is an ideal world, where people care for their elders. Institution of marriage or commitment remains valid. People care for 
their offspring, give them the right moral education... This is indeed one kind of Utopia. 


But, is it achievable? Then why do we have so many cases of molestation, child trafficking and rapes in India? 
Is our society too restrictive and expects too much from a mere mortal? 


We have too many rights and wrongs, too many taboos and things not to be shared. We believe, it is improper to drink in front of your parents. That you 
shouldn't let your elders know if you smoke. That pre-marital sex is a sin. That marriages are forever. And these topics are beyond discussion. 
We believe if you don't tell kids about birds and bees, they won't know. 
That celebacy and proper conduct is guranteed till you wed them off... and it is not just possible, but unquestionable... in this world of information. 
And then we are as startled as a deer in spotlight, when we hear that a guy closeby raped his classmate.

On closely looking and experiencing the bad, western world, I get more drawn to it. The world of openeness. You are allowed to do all that you want, as long as you don't hurt anyone. You know where your limits are and you are allowed to tread as far as them. 

Isn't it better to allow pre-marital sex than the rape statistics boasting a "moral" society? 
What is wrong in skimpily clad women, if you are sure you have sane men?
Isn't it better to be divorced and start life afresh than living a suffocating marriage?
What is wrong in independence and individualism, if you are sure everyone is taken care of?


In my ideal world, there would be far fewer rules, but far stricter punishments. Do whatever, you want to YOURSELF.. smoke, drink, dope, suicide... don't as 
much as dare hurt anyone.

And so the scrum works

There is a software delivery model "Scrum". The primary hypothesis for this model is that people are responsible individuals. They can manage and lead themselves and don't necessarily need someone telling them exacly what needs to be done.

 

In my project we have been following this model for sometime now. It was never questioned, untill recently. Sometime back I was asked who leads the team, in short, who should we blame if something goes wrong. The answer "we all are" does not seem satisfactory. Someone should be, there should be one person accountable, responsible... blaimable, I am told. And then there were a ton of reports to be maintained, shared. To show that we are working diligently. Name one person, don't you dare say 'Scrum team'.... there has to be a way to tweak things... a bit...

It used to annoy me untill recently...

 

I was living in a utopian world, believing that people are responsible by default. You ruin them by managing them. I could never really understand the need for control. 

I like to believe that everyone is good, responsible, careful... And hence, everything would fall into right place. But, what if this belief does not work, even for one person? Ideally, you should be able to counsel, mentor, make someone realize the importance of sincerity. What if it doesn't work? What if someone is just not capable? Despite trying, someone is not able to pull through? There are several ways, an employee cannot deliver the ideal, expected result. Are we capable enough to handle this? In an environment, where we work on minimum costs, and on no extra labor, do we have the expertise to handle soft-needs? We like to say that we work for 9 hours, do we actually work for 9 hours, all round the year? 

There are several people who know that company would not fire them, unless they screw something really badly. Being incompetent or lazy ain't reasons enough to lose your job. So, some would not wake from their slumber at all, and hence, someone else would shoulder all the responsibility. Does the idea of Utopian world remain valid then? And it is not specific to any one company or project. It is the truth of Software Industry all over India. I have not seen any company laying of people at any point in India. Does it mean all employees are good? I have seen hopeless people being entertained, knowing that they are not doing anything. Because, client is billing for their presence? And because we hate being the bad guy and saying, 'You are not doing anything'. I have seen some poor souls being slaughtered to work. Does the idea of Utopia work then?