Some of the blogs that I am addicted to, often talk about how arranged marriages screw up ones life. Like:
That you get married to a man you don't know, you may end up losing your own life in the process. That when you have not "known" the person and his family long enough, you would not know how he (or they) would react in any situation. Whether you are marrying a monster or your prince charming... and it is more likely to be former.
Some of my friends have also shared bitter experiences of their other girl friends, agreeing to marry a man arranged by their family and regretting the decision with all their lives.
I know that this is not entirely wrong. Indian society is skewed in favor of men.
But, the view it portrays of arranged marriages is not entirely right either. Like every other thing, marriage (arranged or love) has to evolve with time. It needs to adapt to changing needs of society.... And that one needs to accept more for arranged marriages. Parents should just introduce the guy and girl and express their opinion, final decision should lie with those who are committing for life!!!
Girls and boys alike need to tell their parents that they are open to the idea of arranged marriage, but on their conditions. The concept of saying "yes" to the first "guy" you meet doesn't work anymore. The idea of not meeting or chatting or talking before confirming is out dated too.
If girls are independent and confident, they should know their priorities and be comfortable exerting them. We need to know that being unhappily married (and may be dead) cannot be better than being happily single.
My husband and I had arranged marriages. He wasn't the first guy I met, nor was I the first girl he met. We met several times, before our parents met each other or even us. We knew our basic traits and standings before we committed to each other. And we were fine with that. I have retained my surname, my job priorities and my beliefs and so has he...
I can't say that we haven't had our share of "teething troubles" post marriage or everything has been hunky-dory. But, I can't imagine being with any other man now. ... And I absolutely adore my in-laws.
I certainly don't regret my decision or how life has turned to be. And I believe this is how ideally marriages should be arranged !!!
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